noli me tangere

Page Nineteen

Wed 28 May 2008 Greenfield

It's yet another anniversary, the heinousest of all. And the symmetry of it is probably diabolical. Eleven years ago today exactly, on Wed 28 May 97, the universe in its perversity threw me into what I with bitterness and rage and intentional acerbity call the Hell Years. The quantum energy field has had a great deal of assistance from vicious humans along the path of these eleven years, and now, thanks to the DMH and CSS, the hell burns hottest of all. I feel nothing but contempt for anyone who participated in doing this to me, and to my innocent animals. I don't apologize for rage, or bitterness, or contempt. After a lifetime of abuse, I've earned those dark emotions. Last year, maybe, I heard a writer discussing some famous person on the radio, but I didn't get the name of the famous person. This writer had written a biography of said person, and said of him "He started out life a very gentle person. But if you hurt a gentle person too much and too long, maybe what you get is a monster." If I am a monster now, then it was all the bullying, stupid, mean-spirited neurotypicals of my life who created me.

Tempus fugit, so let's have a poem:



Disobligata

in undis
alma mea semota
natans
noli eam revocare

sub mare
alma mea demota
ululans
noli eam revocare


here to another poem: Sehnen


If you're dark and serious and enjoy reading depressing stuff, I remind you again that you can find links to other pieces in this ugly story that is my true, actual existence at my website braonthree.wordpress.com.

I don't owe any neurotypical human being a bloody thing. I don't owe the quantum field that made me a bloody thing, not anymore.

Update 21 November 2009: A year and a half after writing this, I can say only that my feelings are still the same. Yes, I take an anti-depressant now, and an anti-anxiety, but my feelings remain the same.
And in May of last year I didn't yet know about the criminal angle that had emerged in my life. Matthew Lacoy hadn't yet told me about all that. I found what he said believable, and still do, until someone can unequivocally prove to me that he was lying, playing a hoax. And if what he said was true, then I can add the FBI to the list of individuals and organizations that treated me as if I were less than human.