Page Fifteen
Tuesday 6 May 2008 Greenfield
Eight weeks today since the sheriff's guy came.
It was a gaggle of women who did this to us. Landlady, psycho-tenant, case manager, goon at CSS: a gaggle of women. Back in the 70's, in the heydey of our country's most recent women's movement, we were all encouraged to think of other women as our sisters, and some part of me has always held to that. You can have whatever you can have with men, but we women are sisters. It's only in the last 4 or 5 years that I've begun to realize how truly vicious most women are, given the right stimulus. And they are very often jealous, self-centered, phony, whiney, and aggressive.
My only true sisters were my female animals: Brainse the dog, Lizzie and Canajoharie the birds, and the female cats: Shiloh, Judah, Chailin, Chani. Shiloh, I'm told, was executed. Judah is in a foster home "somewhere," but if I don't find a home where I can have her by May 14, she is maybe executed too. And Chani and Chailin, last I was told, were hiding out in a priest's garage in Turners Falls, and I don't know what the hell became of them. These were my only sisters, and one of the last dreams I had left in life was to see each of my ageing animals to their natural deaths. DMH and CSS shattered that one.
Women, you are not my sisters. You are childish and insufferable and sneaky. My true sisters have been stolen, and all of them most likely killed...
Update 13 November 2009: The same, the same. The way I feel about women in general and the women who destroyed us in particular is the same. The way I feel about the female animals who were stolen from me is the same. And it remains true that all this time later, no one has told me what became of any of my animals except the three who were slaughtered at the animal "shelter." The posts I made in 2008 were all made in a state of very high anxiety, and anger, and grief, and confusion. The confusion was not endemic to me: it was caused by all the lies and half-truths people had told me, and by the things Matthew Lacoy had told me about my life.
I used my on-line journals last year to just dump whatever was bothering me the most at the moment, so that I could carry on with each insufferable day. This year I've been spending a lot of time providing details and contexts that I did not provide last year.
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1 comment:
I just read your post about how one of your cats was put to sleep and it almost brought me to tears. I began to think of my own two cats and how much they've improved my life.
I remember coming home after drinking way too much at a happy hour and barfing for about 30 minutes and passing out on the floor of the bathroom. When I woke up, I noticed both cats, sitting quietly, one at the doorway and the other sprawled on the tile next to me. It was as if they were both standing vigil as I suffered. Either that or they were waiting for me to die so they could eat me ;) But I think the first makes more sense.
I also remember being over at a friends place and watching this horrible show on animal planet called "animal patrol" or something and it was about the humane society or something going around and abducting "mistreated" animals. They came to this one guy's place who just had a trailer with like 2 dogs and 8 cats living in it, and they forcibly took all his animals because they "felt they were in danger". I got so anfry at that because I've been to the humane society and I know that they euthanize any animal that doesn't get adopted in a month or so. So even if the animals may have been slightly better off in other homes, all of them living in a trailer is still better than KILLING them! It still makes me mad thinking about that, and your post reminded me of that.
What's more to the point is that my friends watching with me... disagreed with me. They just couldn't believe that that's what the humane society would do. That's the crux of this I think, the lack of awareness of what the animal "care" people actually do.
I'm do sorry about the loss of your little fuzzy buddy. I just wish there was something I could do to help, but I'm not a legal expert and am not too fond of people, so I don't have nor could I achieve any real clout. This world is such a mess.
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