another round of fire

wednesday 2 june 2010 turners turned stony


Well, as the result of recent things that have gone on behind the scenes of my various blogs, I feel it necessary yet again to address the subject of whether or not I am delusional... delusional vis a vis Matthew Lacoy and the things he told me about my life and my grandfather.

I have to say in complete truthfulness that I deeply resent having to continually go over this again, both verbally and in print, more than two years after this Lacoy person said the things that he said. I am furious and MYSTIFIED by the fact that supposed ADULTS can't seem to distinguish between delusions and believed statements.

So, an object lesson: If someone that you know only casually one day invites you to their home and gives you shocking news about your own life, what do you do? Let's say the person tells you that your mother and his father had a secret affair long ago, and the two of you are siblings. I use this example because I've actually known people to whom this has happened. What do you DO? What do we as sentient (supposedly) beings do when someone is talking to us? Ok, I'll tell you. We evaluate a variety of factors going on in that person: 1. the actual words they are saying, the particular words they choose 2. the tone of voice and inflection they are using 3. their body language: is there a tightening of the jaw, a hardening of the eyes? You evaluate these things every single time someone speaks to you, whether you are consciously aware of it or not. And this is what Anne Nakis did on the days Matthew Lacoy told her these things.

And having performed this evaluation that we all engage in AUTOMATICALLY, I decided that he was not lying, that he was telling me truth, and that is what I still believe. If anyone ever proves to my satisfaction that Matthew Lacoy was lying to me, then so be it. But no one has proven that thus far.

So, let's allow for the possbility that he WAS lying. What does that make ME? What does that make ANYONE who believes a lie someone told them? Gullible? Dumb? Too trusting? Mistaken in their judgment of this person's sincerity? YES, damn it; any or all of those things. But not DELUSIONAL, not IRRATIONAL, not INSANE. When did the DSM definition of delusional suddenly become: anyone who believes a lie someone told them?

And why do I continually try to stick up for myself, for two years continually try on the internet and in real life to expunge this notion of DELUSIONAL from people's minds and from the twisted little papers they fill out about me? Because the word is insulting to me, and because it's a lie. It's an insult to my integrity, my sanity and my intelligence, as I've said before and will no doubt say again. And because it's a lie. It isn't truth. NO ONE wants a lie circulated about them. NO ONE wants complete fabrications believed about them in this town and that town and this office and that office. You wouldn't want it either, if it were happening to YOU.

Am I angry about all this? Absolutely. With no apologies or excuses. Anger is not a mental illness, despite what the psychobabble boneheads would have you believe.
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read... Spite and malice... Braon...

~~~~~ website ~~~~~ on twitter @annegrace2
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(all photos, graphics, poems and text copyright 2008-2011 by anne nakis, unless otherwise stated. all rights reserved)
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