powerlessness can kill you

Tues 20 Jan 2009 Northampton

Page Thirty-seven

I'd like to move to Canada. Anyone out there who can help a person who can't work get a visa?

Ten months and nine days of my life have been stolen from me by other people, as of today. I might be bait, shark chum. Matthew's never disputed that. I'm still not a human being, WHATEVER is going on.

Unlike others unjustly imprisoned by our government (and more and more I perceive this illegal, undercover "protection" as a prison), I am not allowed a lawyer or the press. Powerlessness can kill you.

Update 25 Aug 2009: The anger, the stress, had been accumulating for so many months by the time I wrote this, that I just wanted out. I hated this country (because I had believed the things Matthew had told me). I hated the fascist abuse of power that could do to an innocent citizen what I believe the "protectors" might well have done to me. I didn't want to live in a country where such things had been done to me, or where they could be done to any innocent citizen. I can't say I feel much different today. Antidepressant and anti-anxiety notwithstanding, I still feel dark and black about staying in a place where I may well have been treated in such a way. And Matthew and his boys are still here in Greenfield, so what does that mean? You decide what you think about my long-running situation. But the best way to do that, if you have the interest, is to go to my website, braonthree.wordpress.com. You can't just read part of it. You need to read in all the blogs I started in 2008.